87. So use them with vengeance against any mean person. 68. If you have an annoying brother, this list is for you. You're so fake, Barbie might actually be jealous. It's all about balance you start talking, I stop listening. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. 54. Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it? Sandwiches arent only for eating and throwing at each other. My apologies, how silly of me. I was today years old when I realized I didn't like you. So looking at you, it's obvious that they quit after just one day. But who are they to judge you? A glowstick has a brighter future than you. 12. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. Its way to small to be outside by itself! Forget the ugly stick! But if they realize the context, then this response would give the impression that you dont care about being mean or not and so they should worry about other things like solving maths. There are so many paths in life. Youre so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks. Youd be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. In case your favorite comeback isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. I know our son got his brains from you because, well, I still have mine. You have your whole life to be a jerk.so why dont you take a day off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!! Sorry, it must have washed off. Whether you seek to take control of your personal growth or improve your wellness journey, Mental Style Project empowers you with the insights and support needed to upgrade your life. Please share this page if you like them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. If your brain exploded, it wouldnt even mess up your hair. All rights reserved. Nice outfit. Are you agitated and confused? You are proof that God has a sense of humor. Stupiditys not a crime, so feel free to go. I'm so sorry if my brutal honesty inconvenienced your overinflated sense of self. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. It must be fun to wake up each morning knowing that you are that much closer to achieving your dreams of complete and utter mediocrity. Lets go to the zoo. My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since youre really strange. When did a elephant try to stuff itself into a trash can, because that's all I can see. 92. Feel free to share in the comments. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be healing the world. I don't hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five. Youre so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit. Please, keep talking. Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong, 20. Make sure you commit these to memory. You have an old soul. Can you stop talking more often? Maybe you should try eating make-up to improve that ugly personality. Did someone leave your cage open? I hope youve enjoyed reading these good comebacks. If you ever cross my mind, Ill make sure its a busy intersection. 2. You dont know me, you just wish you did. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); I didnt put garlic over my door because I think youre a vampire. I bring happiness when I walk in, and you bring happiness when you leave. Id have hired an exterminator if I knew you were gonna bug the shit out of me. (This isn't really a comeback but) I say "What if I don't have a dad?" Whenever I use that, They won't even respond back or respond with the dumbest answers like "Idk, Yes and etc". I really enjoy the silence of your company. Id spell it out for you, but thats assuming you know your ABCs. Whether you need something short, something witty, or something downright savage, we've got you covered. When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Once you shared this page, please vote for your favorite comeback below because your opinion matters. 1,502 Likes, 1 Comments - JinWooNaut (@kpop_comeback_updates) on Instagram: "The bug was an army who just wanted to say Hi . Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. READ THIS NEXT: 120 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes. yes you!! Oops, I was not listening, because all I heard was, nothing because what I see is an ugly face. These funny burns are awesome. You might just find one. "You're immature". You were dragged through dumb-ass forest. I may be mean, but at least Im not you, 22. You may not have a base and nasty attitude, you may not even have a malevolent disposition. Keep talking, someday youll say something intelligent! Me neither. The "Real Housewives of Potomac" has fans riled up. 27. This is a witty quote. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Reply by a kindergartner, to a pair of 5th graders who tried to tell him Santa isnt real: Santa brings me presents, and if Santa doesnt bring you presents, you should think about why., Female friend: Ill just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife., Male friend: They dont give trophies for last place. I date them and befriend them. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. I clean up germs all day, but no matter how hard I scrub, youre still here. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse! You better pay it extra. I heard you took an IQ test and they said your results were negative. You dont need too many words to explain that the persons remark about you is proof that they are not welcome in that gathering at the time. var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); I thought you only did that behind my back. You suck. I think you just need a high five in the face with a chair. If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you. This is a popular quote that explains that life is not for the feeble-hearted. We were going to roast you, but apparently, burning trash is an environmental hazard. 50. You do realize we're just tolerating you, right? 5. We were happily married for one month. READ THIS NEXT: 50 Funny Short Jokes That Guarantee a Laugh. Sweetheart, the only thing bothering me is that thing between your ears. Whether youre dealing with a know-it-all friend or a rude coworker, weve got you covered. When you judge another, it doesnt define them. Every cloud has a silver lining. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. It is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're stupid than open it and remove all doubt. 4. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. 80. I was hoping that it was you. Youre a whole lot worse. I dont exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, Id drink it. A technical way of saying someones opinion about you is wrong. If what you dont know cant hurt you, youre invulnerable. Louie Armstrong would have never released What a Wonderful World had he met you. 27. They can help you to stand up for yourself in the face of rudeness and put someone in their place. I farted. The hardest pill to swallow is knowing nothing is as lethal as your personality. Hey, heres a hint. The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg. Because thats where most accidents happen, you are so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet, youre so ugly that if hellen keller got her vision back and you were the first person she saw she would choose to be blind again, you look like somthing i would use to wipe the floor, last time i saw some one with a face ;like yours was at the zoo, its times when i wee your face that i wish i was blind, omg sorry i thought i was looking at the moneys at the zoo i didnt realize it was just you, lol when your bigger than your personality. No? 5. 6. 4. Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance! Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Then please share this page now. You cant see the f*ck you in my smile, can you? I forgot the world revolves around you. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your. When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror? You're the worst. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. And yes, you walk away after saying this. You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back! Unfortunately, we've been married for 10 years. So, you changed your mind? Youre not as bad as everyone says. Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness. 9 Comebacks for no one cares in any conversation. 76. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. Why not take today off? Oh my God, look at you. I Googled who gives a f*ck but my name wasnt in the search results, 21. So while the person is trying to make you see the bad side of your decision, bring out this angle. Someday you'll go far. Keep talking. Im sorry, talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. It reminded me to take out the trash. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? You owe that tree an apology 3. But many other things can make people outrightly call you mean. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, all I had to do was to fart. Youre the whole royal family. I would call you a h*e, but at least theyre making money from it. Leave a message and Ill get back to you. When I see you coming, I get pre-annoyed. What you lack in intelligence, you more than make up for in stupidity. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. 70. Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Im sorry, I dont date guys who think that no means convince me. 5. Youll go far someday. The Village just called. It explains why you seemed smart until I finally heard you speak. Misinterpret: play stupid Tip 6. Here are some mean comebacks to say to a guy: So there you have it, some mean comebacks to put that jerk in his place. So next time someone comes at you with an insult, you can hit them with one of these savage comebacks in an argument and watch them squirm. How silly of me. Sorry I cant think of an insult stupid enough for you. I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but heres a participation award. 2. If I had a dollar for every brain you didnt have, Id have one dollar. I understand everything you said. I guess that means I cant talk to you! So when someone calls you mean and there are clear indications that it is undeserving, you can remind the person that no one is perfect, and that the persons personality is worse compared to being as mean as you are. His name is Dudley. 1. I cant think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death. Additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care of his pet frog. 79. It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around. 37. Please tell me you dont home-school your kids. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Some when they enter, some when they leave. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. I bring happiness when I walk in, and you bring happiness when you leave. 20. This is a lose-lose situation for me. Of course, coming up with a clever comeback on the spot can be difficult, which is why its always good to have a few mean ones up your sleeve. Youre the type of person that uses their 3. Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't want to be mean, but you need Listerine. 6. Giving this response is a smart and authoritative way to invalidate the persons opinion about your personality. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his butt back? ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true}); At the page end, you can vote for your favorite comeback. It's really fun watching you try to understand everything that's being said about you. The truth will set you free. Are you agitated and confused? I lose my valuable time. I hope you stay there. Required fields are marked *. But theres more awesome stuff below. Then please check out these 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes because theyre awesome. These are really good comebacks to shut up absolutely anyone. Plus, theres awesome bonus content. Next time someone tries to put you down, make sure to give them a taste of their own medicine. Dont get caught with nothing to say. I couldnt warm to you if you were on fire. 91. Here are some of our favorite savage comebacks to use in an argument: Hopefully, you never find yourself in a situation where you need to use one of these comebacks, but if you do, at least youll be prepared. Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? Interesting Comebacks to Pick Up Lines. Im sorry you were offended when I called you a h*e. I didnt know it was a secret. var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=ed1ae1fe-f142-4b78-9937-522e005e546e&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=7392913834702310416'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); it looks like your face cought on fire and sombody exsigwished it with a hamer. Youre the corner piece to an unsolvable puzzle: everyone looks right past you. I forgot the world revolves around you. Allow me to be the first one. Myself for example. "I'd rather be pale than look like I rolled around in Doritos.". Lasts longer, too. 66. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. You'd be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. Allow me to assist you in never walking again. Legendary Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger tried to get everyone to cool it on . Dont let your mind wander. 57. 15K subscribers in the Comebacks community. 2. Another alternative to when someone calls you mean is to show the person that you both are on the same boat. Watch the person retreat with tails between legs once you give this as the immediate response to being called mean. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. She didn't believe me. 81. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Ah, sarcasm. 63. Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid? I'm not a bakery. Its too small to be out there all alone. Expect people to say 'ouch' once you drop this one as a rhetorical question to second the person's "did I ask you." When you tell them this, it is likely that they become uncomfortable and feel defeated. Ok, youre free to go. Did your parents get you from the REJECT SHOP? I didnt think it was possible to give me more reasons to hate you until today. Ive never had many life goals. You prefer three left turns to one right turn. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Youll laugh and the jerks will be very pissed.var cid='8512624245';var pid='ca-pub-6887397191213377';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0';var ffid=2;var alS=2021%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);container.style.width='100%';var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;if(ffid==2){ins.dataset.fullWidthResponsive='true';} FOR THE LAST TIME! God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes. Youre so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality in real life. If you were any more wrong, youd be right! Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? You are here to learn! You may not have pulled someones chair out right before they sat down so that they are laughed at as they fall on the floor. Don't worry the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest. So there you have it, some of the meanest comebacks you can say to put someone in their place. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. 10. Why not take today off? Dont wanna be mean, but you need listerine. 82 Chuck Norris Jokes//91 Yo Mama Jokes//154 Bad Jokes//118 Bad Dad Jokes. I dont think youre unintelligent. Do you like what you read so far? The only thing offending me right now is your face. Dont be the person to initiate that. In the context of being mean, the person can also expect to get a meaningful response after calling you mean. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. I never even listen when you tell me them. I believe you can achieve anything. 75. I like you just the way you are: uninspiring, uninteresting, and dreadfully unfunny. It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. Aside from trying to give comebacks, one of the natural things people do when they are called mean is to explain why they did what they did that made someone call them to mean. Sweetheart, the only thing bothering me is that thing between your ears. I fart in your general direction. if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { Some are lame, but in this article, I have filtered and gathered the ones that are sharper than two-edged swords. Why not take today off? Or did your neck just throw up? 100. Meanwhile, it also serves as an explanation for why you might have sounded mean with your choice of words. 5. Everyone brings happiness to a room. Switch the vibe up! Im jealous of all the people that havent met you! That can be a good thing. Youre so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall! Im not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!! your forehead is so big, the angels in heaven use it to go skiing, 2 wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example, Brian Tracy Motivational Quotes: 65+ Best Ones You Need To, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 61 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, Funny Movie Quotes: 41 Best Lines You Need To know & More, Terminator Genisys Sucks So Bad James Cameron Vomited, funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes. A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind. Im sorry. You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. I would like some tips on how to clear my mind from someone with nothing meaningful to contribute. Youre so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Dotdash Meredith Publishing Family. Yo mama is so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. Dont piss me off today, Im running out of places to hide bodies. Sorry for the mean, accurate thing I said. H*es be like, Ive been through a lot. No a lot has been through you. I think theyre onto something. 47. Maybe some will say these comebacks are rude, but I think theyre perfect for the occasion. The opposite of being gay is to be straight and the teacher asserts that you have a straight or pale face in the morning. You are the architect of your life. You just have bad luck when it comes to thinking. (you dont necessarily have to go to google to make this comeback true). Stupidity's not a crime, so feel free to go. No, that's why I whispered it. If someone ever asks you "who asked you," have one of these good comebacks for "who asked" ready to roll. I dont want to rain on your parade. I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste. When I listen to you, I think you really are going to go far. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. I want to summon a typhoon. Youd need twice the brains to qualify as a half-wit. Theres nothing quite like the satisfaction of firing off a savage comeback, especially when it leaves your adversary reeling. If you didnt have feet you wouldnt wear shoes..then why do you wear a bra??! 31. Good Comebacks 1. I don't want to rain on your parade. It's the sound of me not caring. oh, did you know, I used to go out with quadgop?. By being mean, it is an indication that you are certainly not chicken-hearted. 73. Laughing or ignoring people can be great power moves, since they show that you're not easily intimidated. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Why dont u go get one. Theres nothing quite as satisfying as a savage comeback. Mean Comebacks to say to a Girl Here are some mean comebacks to say to a girl: If you're going to have two faces, make one of them pretty. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); Usually my rule is 3 strikes and youre out, but you were out of my mind as soon as you started spewing your bullshit. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his "to-do" list. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo bottles. Id like to help you out. Your secrets are always safe with me. My grandpa was working a sub shop at the register. After all, its always better to walk away from a fight than to get caught up in one. Sure, there is a passive-aggressive undertone. I look at you and think two billion years of evolution for this? Youre so ugly, they call you the exterminator, because you kill bugs on sight. It's a bad idea in your case. We all sprang from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege. If you like this. Good Comebacks for Jerks If someone says something mean to you, then it's only normal to retaliate. 83. It has everyones sympathy. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Mental Style Project is a premier outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. When you start talking, I stop listening. Good Comebacks 1. Yo mama so ugly when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application. Your dads small finger is bigger than your whole personality. Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Im not going to repeat myself, but Im also glad to do anything that prevents you from talking. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Dont let your mind wander. Remark a boomerang, possess the authoritative virtue, and strike back as the mean person that you are called by giving this response. It serves as a trusted guide to help you navigate life's challenges by providing you with the necessary tools and resources to elevate your existence. 61. 55. At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesnt hit me in the face. Ive never been a great cook, but I still know how to. You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. If you don't, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldnt be you. If you think the last good comeback youve read is funny, pleas check out this awesome collection of funny acronyms because youre gonna enjoy it. If I ever said anything to offend you, it was purely intentional. 91 Short Jokes//172 Dad Jokes//91 Corny Jokes//75 Stupid Jokes//82 Dark Humor Jokes Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Everyone will love eating the results, too! You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. Just wait till you cant fit your hand in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition from? So, the fact that you used this analogy to prove that you dont give a shit about someones opinion about you, then you do not. I just dont like you. 1. 3. 28. Dont bother leaving a message. I must have been imagining things. It should be, you sap. When you disappear, it suddenly becomes a beautiful day. I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult to stupid people. So remind them that you never asked for their opinion concerning your attitude. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. Perhaps you should eat make-up to look good on the inside as well.

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